My Testimony

By: Kingsdaughter30 Mood: Encouraging Date: 09/11/2008 11:01:21 Music: None

This is a poem I wrote in Nov. '07, titled My Testimony

I'm about to be 30 years old, just to give this poem a date,

and its my soul I almost lost, had it not been for fate.

I'm a cancer survivor, a recovering coke addict, a victim of rape.

And a whole lot of other pain I couldn't escape.

I've been used & abused, beaten & left alone, to all lifes challenges, I was prone.

And I wasnt raised in a Christian home.

but one night when I was busted & disgusted I cried out for help, not to my surprise but no one came.

Once again I was left alone to continue to play the enemy's game.

For years I drifted and even out of my own selfishness brought 2 children into my hell,

many times I attended a church, looking for an answer but to no avail.

I'd be good for a while , even put on a fake smile.

I looked for love in all the wrong places, and when I couldnt find it I'd mope and cry until the next 'forever guy', but when th cycle repeated I'd cry about being cheated.

I finally decided love wasnt ment for me, and Jesus, who was he?

I went back to the drinking & drugs and hanging 'round thugs.

After all, that was my love, I left my kids to be raised by family, not knowing if they even really cared to see me.

I'd cry at night praying that there was a God who really cared and asking where was he, could he really see me, did he know all that I was going thru?

And if the answer was a yes, why was he sitting around up where ever he was just letting all this happen to me??

WHY, WHY, WHY, I'd cry out loud to the sky.

Finally he sent someone to speak His word into my life, from an unexpected person, my son's grandmother,

she said there is a God who loves me and I never needed another Father, but him, and in him I would find everything I longed for - that he is my completer and there would never be another competer.

I decided to give it another try, so there in my lonely room, I cried and prayed, and it was there I stayed, until he spoke, he told me he loved me and that I am his daughter, without falter, he'd give me everything I desired.

I gave my life to him and asked forgiveness of my sins, I'm not where I need to be, but THANK GOD I'm not where I used to be.

I'm a walking construction site but I'm holding on with all my might so I dont loose sight of his light. This is my testimony and maybe you can't relate, but dont let it be a life of hell that you create.

~Rita G~