Healing Continues

By: mellowsong Mood: Excited Date: 12/03/2007 09:48:08 Music: None

I have been going through a period of relative calm for the last few weeks.  The depressive symptoms last hours now, not days and are fewer and further between.  I am also realizing that I am over the acute detox symptoms.  The rashes are almost gone, pain is much more tolerable.  I have eaten virtually no grains or sugar since the end of May with only occasional tiny cheats.  I threw all caution to the wind on Thanksgiving and paid the price royally the next day.  Let's just say I found a new way to do a colon cleanse.  Anyway, what I'm saying is, slow though the pace may be, my healing continues.  Right now, I am praying for more energy and motivation.  I'd say fatigue is more limiting than anything else right now.  I know I need to clean my house, I KNOW I need to get back on the Gazelle (exercise machine) but I just can't make myself do it.

After being hurt 3 1/2 years ago, I have been unable to work.  With the dramatic progress I have made over the last 6 months, I have been wondering if I could handle a part-time job and started looking.  I have been praying hard about what to do and I must admit, I haven't received an answer that I recognize as a clear cut sign, so what I have been doing is praying that "Your will be done, not mine" rather than praying I get the job.  About 3 weeks ago, I applied for a job as an assistant in a medical billing office (seemed like a perfect fit considering my nursing background).  She contacted me and said she wanted to set up an interview.  I called back several times to no avail.  Finally, she told me she would call back after Thanksgiving.  By last Wednesday, I broke down and called her.  Somebody in the office said she said to tell me the position had been filled but that she would keep my resume on hand.  I wasn't upset, just figured it wasn't God's will at this time.  On Thursday, I get a phone call from the same office asking me if I would like to come in for an interview on Friday.  I was very confused but said sure. 

I went to the interview on Friday.  The business owner was tied up and I was interviewed by one of her managers.  She told me she liked me a lot and she would talk to the boss and I'd probably get called back for a second interview with the boss, but to NOT expect a call until after the holidays.  That was fine with me, I'm really really trying to let God take the lead and show me what He wants.  I've been learning over the last few months that being bull-headed and doing things my way doesn't get me very far, but being sincere and truly giving something up to Him results in progress.  For example, I'd been going nuts with the detox symptoms and couldn't afford all the expensive supplements my chiropractor wanted me to take.  A friend from my Kefir yahoo group suggested clay.  I didn't pay much attention at first because someone else had sent me info that the clay could hurt, not help.  Suddenly, several weeks later, I was praying for guidance and help because the pain was intolerable.  All of a sudden, I had a very strong feeling to get the clay, so I did and it helped, it finally got me through the acute detox period.  But I digress.....  I let the people whom I had asked pray about the interview know that it had gone well and I'd know more after New Years.

Well, early this morning, I got a call from the lady who had interviewed me Friday, asking me to come in this afternoon for another interview, this time with the boss.  I am so excited.  I'm honestly trying not to get my hopes up and I am still praying "THY WILL BE DONE" but the human side of me says "I WANT this job".  I need the money, yes, I won't lie, but I realized the other day that more than that, I need to work emotionally, to feel productive again, to be around people.  I was honest with these people about my condition and they have one employee already with serious back problems and my problems didn't seem to worry them.  They asked me some frank questions and I was very honest.  So.....I am asking those of you who may read this to pray for me.  BUT.....don't pray for me to get the job, pray that God's will for me be done and that I listen to Him and be an obedient servant.  Thank you.